Richard North, 20/10/2021  

Like turning off a light, the politico-media nexus has decided we've done enough David Amess. He was a jolly good chap, salt of the earth, "dedicated and tireless" and a paragon of a good constituency MP. 

Amess's death was all down to ghastly plebs being nasty to MPs, so all the MPs need to do is pass "David's Law" to crackdown on threats to public figures and to end online anonymity.

What MPs don't understand here is that the role of social media is simply to amplify what was happening anyway. Before the internet, it was only at election times, when they came out of their cosy little burrows to canvass for votes that they realised how much they were hated.

For the short time needed to go through the motions of campaigning, the unpleasantness was just about tolerable. But now, though the miracle of broadband, the plebs can tell them every day of the week just what they think of their "democratically" elected representatives.

Soon, to be nasty to an MP will become a hate crime, punishable by a term in prison that rape victims can only dream of for those who attack them. And with that sorted, it is the duty of us plebs to pay attention to "Net Zero", to knuckle down and find the pennies to pay for heat pumps and costly electric cars. Only then can we dutifully fulfil our Great Leader's glorious ambitions to lead the world in a new, post-CoP26 Valhalla.

Looking at that wreck of a human being setting out his "green" agenda, though, we see the idiot bleat: "Britain will be 'Qatar of hydrogen'". So he wants the nation to be corrupt, introspective, supporting terrorist groups and meddling in the affairs of other nations? That sounds about right for a Conservative vision of our future.

Then the Muppet tries to treat us as morons, asserting that Britain could meet its ambitious net zero targets "without so much as a hair shirt in sight", telling us that by 2050 we would "still be driving cars, flying planes and heating our homes" but the cars would be electric, the planes zero emission and homes heated by "cheap reliable power".

The fool can't even get his story together with his own ministers, who are admitting that electric cars will not solve all our problems, stating that travel on foot or by bicycle to become the "natural first choice". When we're confronted with this sort of thing, knowing that the very last thing that will be sacrificed is ministerial limousines, I am disinclined to argue, or even attempt a measured response.

There is no point anyway. As Pete points out, our masters are not listening – they stopped listening a while ago, but now it's obvious. They don't care in the slightest what we think, what we want, or what our expectations are. Our role is not to speak – it is to listen and obey.

Thus, the only reply that I can muster is set out in Arkell v. Pressdram - a thousand times over, again and again, for as long as it takes. There is no other answer I am prepared to offer. They won't listen to that either, until millions of us on our doorsteps are saying the same thing to heat pump salespersons.

This is where the pious dreams and the cant of the climate zealots meets hard reality. This is where the talking stops and millions of us have to put down hard money – money, mostly we haven't got – to give form to those dreams. But Arkell v. Pressdram speaks louder than those dreams, as does this parrot (pictured).

There will be attempts to bribe us, as in the pitiful £5,000 grant offered to convert to heat pumps – as if money was the only obstacle to installing these absurd machines. There will be appeals to our better natures (we don't have any) and then will come the financial sanctions.

We can see it all laid out: gradually, they will top-load the price of natural gas, so that it becomes ever-more expensive – so expensive that, by comparison, installing heat pumps looks good value. And there will be fewer to fit by the time that stratagem works, as those pensioners not finished off by Covid succumb to hypothermia.

On the transport front, we will see the same strategy. Petrol and diesel fuel will become progressively more expensive, taxes and running costs will increase and, eventually, buying an upgraded golf cart will look like a good deal – those few who can afford one.

In the meantime, we must content ourselves with small acts of defiance. While our local rip-off merchants, Yorkshire Water, nag us not to run the tap while we clean our teeth – while gaily wasting three million litres of treated water every day - I run the tap whenever I choose.

As for smart meters, if they want to fit one in my house, they'll need a warrant – and armed police. Until then, they can send the meter-readers round. I am not going to make central disconnection easy for them – which is the real agenda of smart meters, as a means of managing power shortages, without resorting to area blackouts.

Similarly, as we only recently bought a new boiler, this is not going to be replaced in a hurry – or at all. It will probably outlast us, and the next owners can deal with the replacement.

The car will also stay. As Johnson and his evil cohorts progressively wipe out normal car manufacture – mainly by the artefact of setting car-makers electric car quotas, and fining them if they don't meet them - I can see a whole new industry emerging.

This one will be devoted to renovating second-hand cars, restoring them to "as-new" status. We will become the new "Cuba" with cars on the road now still running in fifty years' time. Bootleg fuel distillers will sell cans of diesel from the corners where drug-pushers once stood, to undercut the state fuel stations which will be trying to tax diesel out of existence.

There will be other Arkell v. Pressdram opportunities. In fact, that short phrase is becoming one of the most commonly-used in our household. For instance. every time a royal pops up, fresh from their flight in a private jet, to lecture us about climate change or whatever else they think us plebs should hear, out comes Arkell v. Pressdram.

That even goes for Queenie, now, I'm afraid, now that she has decided to break her self-denying ordinance, and intervene in a highly political issue. If she wants to play politics, then even at her advanced age, she must be prepared for the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

And, as the agenda becomes more intrusive, there are those who would directly and physically interfere with our lives. Then that two-word phrase will no longer be hurled against inert TV screens. "Hate crimes" will become the common currency, as real people are sent to enforce our masters' bidding and meet with a torrent of abuse.

That really is where all this madness is going to fall apart. It's not even as if the plebs will willingly confront their tormentors. But with inflation heading for two figures, utility prices increasing, Council Tax way up in the stratosphere, and every other thing you can think of costing us more, none of us will have the money to indulge our master's whims.

More to the point, as law and order continues to break down, and the epidemic of knife crime and random brutality spread – and our masters expend our money on protecting themselves – the rule of law will become one of those fond memories, like good governance and democracy.

Then, when we are forced to deal with the wave of savagery that has become the norm, casual rejection of our importunate masters' wishes will be easier to do. And if our masters resort to violence – as eventually they must - they will have lost their battle.

For the moment though we can console ourselves with the knowledge that the BBC has spent millions of our money on an image makeover. All's well with the world.

Also published on Turbulent Times.

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